A is for arthritis,

B is for back,

C is for chest pains. Corned beef? Cardiac?

D is for dental decay and decline,

E is for eyesight -- can't read that top line.

F is for fissures and fluid retention.

G is for gas (which I'd rather not mention and not to forget other gastrointestinal glitches)

H is for high blood pressure

I is for itches, and lots of incisions

J is for joints, that now fail to flex

L is for libido -- what happened to sex?

Wait! I forgot about K!

K is for my knees that crack all the time

(But forgive me. I get a few lapses in my M - memory from time to time)

N is for nerve (pinched) and neck (stiff) and neurosis

O is for osteo - for the bones that crack

P is for prescriptions, that cost a small fortune

Q is for queasiness. Fatal or just the flu?

Give me another pill and I'll be good as new!

R is for reflux -- one meal turns into two

S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears on how to pay my increasing medical bills!

T is for tinnitus -- I hear bells in my ears

and the word "terminal" also rings too near

U is for urinary and the difficulties that flow (or not)

V is for vertigo, as life spins by

(or Viagra -- maybe sex is back!)

W is for worry, for pains yet found

X is for Xray -- and what one might find

Y is for year (another one I'm still alive)

So, Z is for zest

For surviving the symptoms my body's deployed,

and keeping twenty-six doctors gainfully employed.

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